Worthy Topic, Unworthy Filibuster

Worthy Topic, Unworthy Filibuster

Kentucky senator Rand Paul stumbled backward into a defensible position, even if he was taking the most inappropriate principled stand ever. While filibustering the vote on the new CIA director (whom virtually everyone knew would be confirmed in a vote), Paul railed against the Obama administration’s use of unmanned aerial drones to blow people up.

Well, that’s a bit generous. Specifically, Paul was all hot and bothered about the President claiming the authority to blow up Americans that currently aren’t in combat on American soil. So, a bit narrower, but any progress on extra-judicial killings is still progress. Yay!

Anyway, in the spirit of 13-hour filibusters, I’ve put together some suggestions for of discussion ranting during a filibuster:

Nuclear Proliferation, UN Ambassador

Contrary to Mr. Pickens and his elation, of course.

Contrary to Mr. Pickens and his elation, of course.

There are too goddamned many nuclear weapons in the world, and crazies like North Korea threatening to launch them at others are a pretty good example of why we need fewer, not more. Which is why I think it would be best to hold up the confirmation of a United Nations Ambassador to make a point about it. After all, if the new appointee is held up for 12 hours, then surely they’ll be able to stem the tide of nuclear proliferation sooner!

Gun Violence, Budget Confirmation

Where's Jack Thompson when you never, ever need him?

Where’s Jack Thompson when you never, ever need him?

No matter where you stand in the political spectrum, pretty much everyone should be able to agree that too many people are murdered with firearms. This topic is so important that the only morally acceptable course of action would be to hold up the budget vote (yet again). Sure, it might cause yet another downgrade of the US’ credit rating and would probably cause it to crash into the debt ceiling and default on some loan payments. Still, that would be nothing compared to another ineffectual gesture toward ending gun violence.

Patent Reform, Non-binding Resolution on, well, anything!

The US Patent System is well and truly fucked, especially for software patents. There aren’t enough patent examiners to do anything more than a cursory check of a request, causing prior art to be ignored, and allowing whoever has more money the ability to do whatever they want. It really needs overhauled, which makes doing so worth filibustering a non-binding resolution. Since they’re non-binding and outside the legislature’s authority, they have precisely no effect, which means precisely no one cares about them. Perfect timing!

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